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Elaine smiled to herself, her gaze focussing on a single, twinkling light, set alone in the hills.God, his eyes... C'mon, think!I'd have to meet him and get to know him, to see what he was like and to connect with him. And we'd have to be attracted to each other.Interested friends. Then again I could just meet him and fuck him.Elaine laughed at her audacity. Amusing herself, she ran with the thought.He'd be perfect. He's from out of town and he's hot. It's obvious he wants me, and God knows I could do with a good hard fucking. And with my virginity taken care of, there'd be no pain! We could get a motel room... Elaine bit her lip. I couldn't do that.Could I?No.I couldn't.I couldn't bring myself to commit such dishonesty to MYSELF, let alone him. He'll always see me as I am. No matter what mask I wear. He'll know me. He already knows me.We've only known each other a few days, and already he knows more about me than anyone else on the face of this earth. I couldn't look into those eyes. I found them cold, fake and bigoted. All of them without exception. Understand that it had nothing to do with color. I just found these people really weird. Anyhow, my attitude didn’t endear me to them. They thought of me as a typical American asshole with my swagger and my thick Boston accent. Yet, it’s Canada which offered me the possibility of a normal life. A few months after I moved to Ottawa, I received a work permit. With this work permit I got a job working as a security guard for a small shopping center in the town of Nepean, near Ottawa. Finally, I had a legitimate job. Even though it only paid twelve bucks an hour, it enabled me to feel independent. Unlike so many Canadians of all hues who were content to live on welfare, I yearned to be self-sufficient. I had a work permit and a social insurance number. Thanks to these priceless documents, I was able to obtain a health card. The health card had my photo on it and I used it as a piece of identification. My security licence.
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