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He had not dealt with his cousin’s death. He had not allowed himself to feel the totality of the loss. To grieve was to acknowledge it. It made it real to him. He didn’t want it to be real – but it was firmly in the outer circle.He could not control it. He felt the tears drip down his face and he let them come.His cousin’s death was more loss. He felt he should be inured to loss by now. He’d lost so much. A mother he couldn’t even remember. A father. Another mother, this time with sisters. Mr. Alvarez. The Cholos. So much loss weighed on him. Some of these he’d dealt with before – many times before – but they continued to recur. Each new loss opened the wound, cutting just a bit deeper.The Cholos loss had been the deepest cut. He’d counted them as family and they’d turned on him. Certainly not all of them – but enough.He’d cultured Espanto to be a symbol of fear. To be a target. To take the blows which could harm his family and direct them solely at himself. To get to the Cholos, he. This white goo came shooting out of his penis, and it was amazing to see. It hit my stomach and thighs when it came out. My curiosity got the best of me and I reached down and touched his goo with my finger, then I brought it up to my mouth. It tasted salty, but good. So I used my fingers to scrape it off of my stomach and I began shoveling it up into my mouth. The goo that got on my thighs, I rubbed it in, I even rubbed it onto my pussy. I forgot my father was even in the room, until he lifted me up into his arms and began to kiss me. My first kiss. I loved it!! His tongue went into my mouth and started rubbing against my tongue. So I responded by licking his tongue back. He sat me down on his bed and began to put his hand between my legs and started rubbing my PUSSY, the way I did every night. But the way he was doing it felt wayyyyyy better! He used his pointer to rub circles around the little lump right above my PUSSY, and I felt those volts of electric energy shoot up my body.
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