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"Shelly turned toward me, but addressed Dean. "We were just talking about your wife's new Lexus. How about you, did you trade in that old pick-up truck yet?"Dean gave Shelly a look. "Why? It may be 15 years old, but except for a bit of rust she runs great."I tried to change the subject. "Speaking of ladies you were with, Marge is now head of the neighborhood homeowners association." That's nice." Dean said absentmindedly, while picking up a bar food menu. "Shelly is the fryer up?"Just then one of the guys playing pool motioned an empty beer bottle and held up 5 fingers. Shelly broke away to fill the order leaving Dean and me alone."Dean did you hear what I said?"Dean turned a page of the bar menu. "Sure Barb, You said Marge is head of the Homeowners Association now. Should not bother us, the house is in great shape." Don't you care?"Dean put down the menu and looked at me quizzically. "What? Do I care if the house is in great shape?" No you fool." I slapped him with the menu, "about. In fact, the last year or so was a disappointment. I had a feeling my wife had someone on the side, but I could never prove it. In fact, my wife made the past year a living hell. Her language had changed and I became of object of her anger and scorn. After a while, I actually looked forward to going to work. I did a great job of hiding the truth from everyone, but all the sleepless nights on the couch created bags under my eyes. Since there was never any money or food in the house, I started to lose weight at a dangerous rate. People were actually worried about me and how sickly I looked. When the truth came out about my wife leaving me, many people had already guessed at what had been happening all along."For all I know," I said, "You might have some twelve inch dick."Lamar frowned."How did you know?" asked Lamar.I put my hands up in protest."Hey," I said, "It was just a joke." What?" asked Lamar, "Are you looking in my pants while I sleep?"Suddenly, I realized that Lamar was.
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