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It occurs to me that I have not gotten a hug from anyone other than family since Diane passed. As I squeeze, I fight back the tears trying to fall. January 3 I hurt. Everywhere on my body hurts: legs, ass, back, arms, chest. And I swear even my hair seems to scream in pain. “Diane,” I think to myself, “how did I get here?”Marco put me through the gauntlet yesterday, at the lowest level, and this morning I woke not being able to move. Slowly, very slowly, I roll to my side to look at the clock reading 8am. As I attempt to lever myself up, the doorbell rings. I stand on wobbly legs and an aching back, slowly, very slowly; I make my way down to the door, open it and see Maria there with a big smile on her face.“You’re not what I imagined the Grim Reaper would look like, but I’m not complaining.”“Good morning, and by that comment, I would say you are not a morning person.”“Before coffee, I’m not any kind of person, come on in.”I waddle, no other ways to describe it, to the kitchen,. The floor was so grimy that it was hard to tell if it was wood or linoleum.Most of the place was devoted to stacks of cases of beer and overpriced snack food. There was a wooden magazine rack near the single register that held pawed-over copies of garish porn magazines. On the wall behind the counter was a large display of cigarettes and smokeless tobacco, along with some things that I figured must be drug paraphernalia. Who buys plumbing supplies in a convenience store?The man behind the counter looked to be in his late forties or early fifties. He had short gray hair above a deeply creased face. He wore a stained, wife-beater undershirt and had in a holster on the front of his belt a very large, very shiny revolver. The wooden grip looked worn, as though the man had the habit of rubbing it with his hand. He was looking at me with curious and habitually suspicious eyes.I shuffled up to the counter and gave him the once-over. "You the owner?" I asked.He nodded. "Name's Winslow," he.
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