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I was greeted warmly by my brother and sister, but Mum just glared at me.“Well, young man, what do you have to say for yourself?”“Hello Mum, nice to see you too.”“Don’t you talk back to me young man,” she snapped.“Pat, leave it. He’s been travelling for two days and he’s tired, and he had a shock last night. If you’d forgotten, this is your son, who you haven’t seen for six weeks, just let him get some rest, and maybe a welcome home.”Her shoulders drooped.“Sorry,” she said opening her arms for a hug, “welcome home son. Are you hungry?”“No Mum I ate in Brussels,” I replied, “I’m just tired.”“OK, you get yourself off up to bed, we’ll see you in the morning.”I decided that this was one instruction from my mother I could obey, so I hugged everybody, said goodnight and went to bed.It was gone twelve the following day when I staggered downstairs after showering and dressing, still a little bleary eyed.“Good afternoon sleepyhead,” Alison greeted me as I walked into the kitchen in search of. You can't do this!" Kathy was getting very scared. Never in her life has anyone threatened her freedom."Ma'am, you are very mistaken. I can do anything I like to criminals. You assaulted me, and I'm placing you under arrest. Please place your hands behind you neck. I'll search you, place you in the back of the cruiser, we'll go downtown, have your fingerprints taken, and have you lodging in the Tennessee State Woman's Correctional Facility before 10:00pm. I'm very sorry to inform you, but the local jail is full. You will have to be housed with the real criminals. Don't worry; I'm confident you'll find a roommate to ease your fears. In fact, I'm positive your cellmate will want to snuggle all night with a beauty like you. I hear the older prisoners are extremely friendly to the new inmates. It will be like a slumber party, and you'll have plenty of company to keep you up all night. See there is nothing to worry about." Please don't take me to jail! I'll do anything! I don't want to.
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