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You can call me Honey, but my real name is Patricia Westminster and for most of my adult life I was addressed as “Lady Patricia” by friends and strangers alike. I always felt a little foolish being called “Lady” because a lot of the time my thoughts about the males in close proximity to my person were decidedly on the sensual side and in some instances plain downright naughty enough to be censored by competent authority. At such times, I certainly didn’t feel like a lady in either thought or deed and would have been far more comfortable to be called “slut” or “cunt”.I know it is totally bad form to use the “c” word out in public but I do my best to contain it to those setting where only females are present because we seem to take less offense at the usage amongst ourselves. It is sort of the same thing with dark-skinned people when confronted by the “n” word by total strangers. I certainly do not mean to offend anyone because I am at heart a shy and introverted thing despite my. “On what?”“Whether you have a taste for USDA Prime Shaved Wisconsin Beaver!”I laughed hard, and was very glad I hadn’t been drinking anything.“Shaved?” I smirked.“Smooth as can be! I’ve shaved ever since puberty. I never liked the way my pubic hair looked.”“You actually had it USDA graded?” I deadpanned.“No, of course not, you goofball! I just thought that would be a funny thing to say in a steak house.”“It was! And how is it served?”“Hot and juicy!” she laughed.“So now it’s a Wendy’s hamburger?” I teased, recalling the commercial. “That’s a real step down!”“You better hope I don’t quote Clara Peller!” she smirked.“Where’s the beef?” I chuckled. “That might be ego-deflating!”“Well, deflated it’s not much good, now is it?”“No! And I haven’t had any complaints. You do remember the ground rules, right?”“I do! And you do remember my promise not to boil your daughter’s bunny?”“I do! Can we be serious for a moment?”“Sure.”“What is it you want from me?”“I thought that was blindingly.
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