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My mother was not capable of working due to some minor brain damage that occurred to her during birth. It had little real effect on her but it was an era where working mothers were frowned upon. Any physical defect in a woman would normally exclude her from the workforce.We lived in a very basic house on the edge of a much more luxurious housing estate. We might have had a pool but it was a small above ground pool where the wall sides buckled and we emptied in winter rather than spent any money on winterising it. Marilyn and Jonathon Smythe, Rebecca and Cyndi's parents, had the largest house in the estate.My father was much too proud to say anything and my mother simply did not know how, so the expense of having two extra mouths to feed for much of the week, plus the cost of utilities and heating and the like was a huge strain on our household weekly budget. The strain was so great that about five months after Cyndi and the pool incident my mother tearfully said to Samantha that. After a very quiet dinner you went to watch the nightly news. I sat next to you, sipping some tea. Every once in while you would look at me questioningly, I never made eye contact, and pretended to watch the news. That night when we went to bed, you curled up behind me and kissed my ear, neck, then lips. I remained silent. You said, “It’s getting late….” I sighed and replied“I know…..” “and you have yet to answer me” “I know…..” it was silent for a few minuets. I wondered if you felt like you were pressuring me. Before I wondered for too long, you interrupted my thoughts. “You know you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. And you don’t have to make a decision right away. I love you, honey. I don’t want you to feel like you’d be disappointing me if you said no.” “I know, Tom…. It’s not so much that. I mean, I know its something I would enjoy, and I know how much you want it. And I want to do it for you… but at the same time I’m scared about how I will feel about it after its.
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