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They all wanted selfies with Santa. By the time I reached New Zealand, they wanted a little more from Santa than a present! It was the same all across Australia, the Philippines, the whole damn trip!”The now frightened elf had to ask, “What did they want Santa?”“ME,” Santa shouts. Pulling a small note pad from his suit pocket, “In all total, I got 3,504 blow jobs, I ate 6,214 pussies, I had anal sex 1,363 times!” Still fuming at the elf, “I lost count of the straight sex I performed and I didn't bother counting the rim-jobs, either given or received.”“But... but... That would be well over total number.”“You didn't back check all those requests little man!” Santa now screaming. “Do you know how many sets of twins I ran into? Do you have any idea how many girls wanted to go around-the-world with Santa? Not to mention the 27 all girl dormitories where you scheduled stops. Then the most surprising of all, was the eleven retirement homes!”All the elves just stood in silence.Using. . This surprised me a bit. I would have figured a pampered rich girl would have her nails done at a salon. I was shaking my head. This all seemed too good to be true. "Personality?" "Well, to be honest, not the nicest. She's kind of spoiled, being a rich only child. She tends to be pretty vain about her good looks. One of the reasons she's never had a successful long-term relationship is because she tends to be more of a giver than a taker. And one of the reasons her career hasn't gone any further than it has is her lack of discipline and punctuality." Mindy paused, as if for dramatic effect. "I know you're not like that, Tim. I know you'll appreciate the wonderful gift I'm offering you. When Sheila's personality changes for the better, everyone who knows her will be so pleased! They'll just think she's finally maturing." "Well," I asked, "How can I just step into her life? I don't have her memories! I don't even know how to put on makeup!" Now Mindy was beginning to sound a little.
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