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"Yeah, that's what I am wearing I said bowing to parrot and opening mypalms so as to show off my legs."Why was I doing this? This is the sort of thing you saw some bimbo doingon the television. Was it worse than I thought? Was I a bimbo trapped ina man's body?Anyway I then went upstairs and Carol helped me to get changed. She saidI could do with some help smartening myself up, doing my hair and nails,so I sat by her mirror as she smartened me up.Something was making her laugh."What's the joke?" I asked."Take your trousers off in front of the mirror, Nicola."Suddenly I was confused. I couldn't see the mirror or my trousers.What?What was I wearing? It looked like a French Maid's outfit. Wait! Thatbeautiful blonde French Maid I was looking at - THAT WAS ME!OMIGOD! She had just turned me into a French Maid!"Carol! What have you done to me?" Nicola, I decided it was time we really sorted out who wears the trousersin this relationship. As you probably realize now, it isn't. "Did I rave something about restoring this house for something like only 75k?" Jason muttered at me, shaking his head in disbelief as we sat down on the side of the deck to have ourselves a think. "What crack was I smoking? I warned you that I thought this place was going to be a money pit! The only smart decision is to gut the place and then redo all of the utilities from the ground up. Sorry bud, but that's the only reasonable conclusion here to make. Sure I can rip out the rest of the floors and walls and start jury rigging, and maybe with a crew of unlicensed and undocumented Mexican day-laborers we can get that part of the cleanup done in the next month, perhaps even with what money you and Kathy have just given me checks for. But I wouldn't trust a bit of their new installation work for a doing this on the cheap as a patch job. It won't be stable, it sure won't be safe, and it definitely wouldn't be doing the job right and I'd be ashamed to have my name associated with it! It is.
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