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“Nothing I think love. When’s your mother home?”“Not for a few hours so if you’re wanting a pee…….”“NO! No! I’m OK.”“No you’re not. You’ve been alone all afternoon and you must want to go. I’ll get the bottle.”“No, really, Kelly. I can’t.”“Course you can,” the girl said and grabbed the odd shaped bottle from the floor beside his chair. “Come on, Grandad. Let the dog see the rabbit!”“No! Kells!”She pushed his dressing gown open and pulled the cord on his pyjamas and stood back, her eyes wide.“Not so much a rabbit. More like a bloody hare!”“Look, Kelly. I’m sorry I…..”“Or what’s bigger than a hare? A wildcat?”“Kelly! I’m your Grand-father!”“No wonder Mrs Davies couldn’t control herself the other day.”“Kelly I…..What do you mean? “ he asked and realisation dawned on him. “Oh my God, NO! Your mother showed you the picture didn’t she?”“Mmm,” the girl grinned. “Dirty old Grandad now come on, let’s get this monster into the bottle.”She placed the neck of the urine bottle. “Well, we know that they have had sex at least twice,” I said.“Knowing them, they’ve probably had sex twice today!” Lori said, making her sister cringe again.“Okay, back to work. This next one is all about wild interracial sex, maybe even a bit on the illicit side,” Allison said. “So, we want to convey the same messages as with ‘Honky Tonk Woman’, build on the previous song.”“What version of the first verse do we want,” I asked. “The original, ‘hear him whip the women’, or the tamer version, ‘hear him with the women’? What can we get away with?”“I reckon we go with the original,” Phil said. “Unless you prefer not to whip them?”“Nah, we’ll whip ‘em,” I said. “Any special choreography, Allison?”“Not sure yet, maybe just more strutting and pouting. Remember, when you get the line ‘how come you taste so good’, you know what it is you’re referring to, don’t you?”“Of course, I wasn’t born yesterday!”“So pick out a woman in the audience, and just run the tip of your tongue across your upper.
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