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" I know that wasn't an answer, but it worked for the moment. It mighthave been a selfish feeling, but the more female he appeared, the morecomfortable I felt about my homosexuality and in turn about myself inpublic. To the outside world we seemed like any other normal couple inlove. After he had his tracheal shave and breasts enlarged , I even tookhim to meet my parents. It made them happy that I was finally settling downwith such a pretty girl. I could see the visions of grandchildren dancingin their heads, but I couldn't bear to tell them the truth. Maybe I wasliving a lie. I had the best of both worlds, most of all the acceptance ofboth, but love was blinding me to the inevitable truth. A few months later he was notified that had been accepted for SRS inTrinidad, Colorado. Sometimes I'd like awake and wonder if I'd miss thatpenis that had become so small, so helpless, and weak over time. Somehowit still seemed to call out each night for my delicate caresses to. That meant that I never saw a****ls 'doing it' with my own eyes. Even if I did, I would have still been left in the dark. Is what is considered 'natural' for a****ls, the same for humans? I had no idea. I did know several things. Every time I would stare at a man's crotch walking down the hall, I got turned on every time I saw that they had erections! At least that is what I thought I saw. I had two sisters at home so what did I know of the male anatomy? What did their dicks look like hard or soft? Yes, I was more than curiousabout that! I was eager to find out for myself! I also knew that I fantasized a lot. Whenever I was in the shower, I would rub the bar of soap all over my body and pretend a man was doing it for me. I could not wait to get married and find out if it felt that good for real! However, I was not stupid. I knew that in American 50% of all marriages ended in divorce. While it may be true that opposites attract, they don't stay together forever. They grow.
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