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’ The boss spoke up eagerly. ‘We try to hit them with a heavy dose of scathing satire. You know, ridicule, irony, sarcasm.’ ‘Yeah, and how’s that working for you? Not so good, huh? All right, boys, here’s the deal. I get two-hundred and fifty a day plus expenses. You get my personal guarantee that when I’m done that this particular troll will never bother you again, and that your overall troll infestation will be reduced by fifty percent for the next six months.’ ‘How are you gonna find him?’ I asked. ‘You’d be surprised how much you can learn on the ‘Net,’ she said. ‘And good-old fashioned shoe leather, of course.’ ‘So trolling and patrolling, huh?’ I said. She rolled her eyes. The boss quibbled about the money for a while, but he finally gave in. ‘And I want an assistant. Somebody who knows the area.’ ‘Take Al,’ he volunteered me. ‘Why me?’ I asked. ‘Basic expendability,’ he smiled. ‘When does he start?’ ‘Tomorrow evening, six o’clock sharp right here.’ ‘Why so late?’ I asked.. I went inside, ran up the stairs and confronted the evil bitch. As I approached her, she did her best impersonation of a victim, shouting her help as she grabbed her phone, presumably to dial 911. I knew that American cops were the type to shoot a black man just because it’s Monday. They’re even worse than Canadian police, who are notorious for mistreating minorities. I ran out of there, and went back to the now closed YMCA to hide. I hid there until nightfall, and came back when my uncle Lowell came home from work. I explained to him what happened, and he told me he’d talk to my aunt. I was scared of going back into that house, man. After this incident, I decided that I would find out as much as I could about my aunt and use it against her. To punish her, I wrote a letter of complaint to the nursing home where she worked. I pretended to be the family member of a nursing home resident and accused my aunt of abusing one of the people in her care. I wrote a letter to the nursing home.
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