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"I responded with, "I can see your point, but the professional ones youcannot afford and none of you want or can do it without feeling a bitgoofy. Am I right or at least on the right path?"For the reader sake, both the Mom and daughter were named Bobbie. TheMom liked being called Bobbie. The daughter preferred Barb or toleratedBobby J. I always called her Barb and will do so until the end of thistale. Back to the story.Bobbie looked at me and said, "Bingo you hit it right on the head. Ifyou were a gal like us, you would be just about right."Now everybody was looking at me. I heard a lot yes why nots and maybes.I rang the tip bell and said, "In case you haven't noticed, I am builtthe wrong way. The top is too small, the bottom is okay and the middleis too big. Plus I am hairy in the wrong areas."Bobbie came back with, "What about Halloween two years ago? You gotthree offers for marriage and one for four month cruise in Tahiti."I responded with, "And they were bombed out their gourds. We don’t need another unfortunate accident.” She watched the pilot’s eyebrows arch in surprise.“You speak English. That’s good. Do you require immediate assistance?”Iris laughed at the absurd question. “I got it in hand, thank you.”“She-you-look badly injured. You can’t stop shrinking?”“It’s a matter of physics, pal. Are you armed?”The pilot reacted in surprise. “I’m a rescue pilot. I don’t have weapons onboard. You’re not gonna shoot me down, are you?”“Not if you keep your distance.” She noted the circling aircraft had withdrawn to a distance of five miles.“My name is Phil Kagan, US Naval Reserve. Who are you, exactly?”“I’m what’s making her shrink.”“Do you have a name?”Iris laughed. “Kellie’s the injured girl. You can call me Iris.”The pilot responded slowly. “Those are rather earth-like names, Iris.”“I translated into English for you.”Phil took that in. “Where are you from?”Iris laughed again. “Out there.”“OK. Yeah.” Kagan laughed. “It caused quite a stir when you showed up.
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