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By the time I picked up my suitcases and reached the door, all forms of celebration had ceased. As the door hit me in the ass I heard my wife yell, “Oh come on Clive, it was just a joke.”Only steps away from my car there was desperation in her voice, “Clive? Clive! Where are you going?” I let my middle finger do my talking for me as I drove away.By now you’re probably wondering what the hell was going on. Since you asked, I had just walked in after spending a week on the road for my company playing hatchet man; a job I despise with my entire being, even if it did pay very well. My company bought out a smaller business and I was sent in to dismiss some middle management.Needless to say I was in a terrible mood.My wife April knows about these trips and what they do to me and so does her family. Quick word about my in-laws. If you put all their brains together, you still couldn’t get a high school diploma worth’s of intelligence out of them. All except for April. She’s the whole. “Hey, maybe I’ll set some sort of record for lactation” she said jokingly. “You always were an over achiever” I laughed, “so who knows you just might”.For fun we goggled the record for human milk production and found it was an astounding 1.75 US gals in a 24 hour period, or around 6 ½ litres.“OMG, that seems impossible” Carmen giggled, “she would give a cow a run for her money”.I laughed and told her that the average milk cow produced about 8 gallons or 28 litres per day so she wasn’t even close.“Well you just never know what these puppies might produce with the right formula” she laughed, pushing her boobs out and swinging her shoulders. I have to admit I was eager to find out, and even more eager to watch my beautiful wife being milked like a dairy cow every 4 hours.The next day at 9:00am Carmen headed to the clinic, and a few minutes later I followed. I decided to keep the viewing room a secret so she would not be influenced in any way by my presence. I know it was a little.
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