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I turned to Monday. “Damnit, Monday, I told you to wrap it up!”He looked back at me, eyes wide. “My girlfriend just laid an egg, and you’re going on about safe sex?!”Seven weeks ago... After Monday got out of the hospital, he picked up the antibiotics he had been prescribed to fight the strangely powerful infection he had developed from the slashes Hepzibah’s sharp fingernails had left on his chest. Then he headed home.As he started Fortnite up on his Switch, his mind wandered back to a few days previous. Hepzibah was unlike any woman he had ever met before; she had been like a wild animal! Tommy had tried to cock block him, but seemed more concerned than proprietary. He had that other chick with him, which Monday assumed was his girlfriend or whatever, so it didn’t seem like Tommy wanted Hepzibah for himself.Unless he wanted a harem of beauties! Wouldn’t that be just like Tommy? Monday chuckled. That fuckin’ guy.As he died again (“Fuckin’ hax!” he yelled at the screen), he tossed the. ” “Hello, sweetie. Have I interrupted you?” “No, Ma, I was expecting you. How was your trip?” “It was fun, thanks. How have you been?” “Okay. What did you and aunt Jen do.” “During the day we went to the beach every day and walked. At night, mostly just watch your uncle Bob drink too much. But it was nice to get away. Have you been seeing anyone lately?” “Same old girl.” “What’s her name?” “Megan.” “When am I going to meet her?” “Oh, you wouldn’t like her.” I always say that. Ma hasn’t met any of my girls since the college girl. “What’s she like?” “Well, she’s down to 235 pounds. Gastric by-pass.” “That sounds lovely.” “Yeah, but that wart on the end of her nose is a little off-putting. I’m afraid you wouldn’t like her. And such foul language.” “I’m sure she’s lovely, dear.” “Yeah, well, I’m usually not that attracted to black women, but she’s okay. And she’s about your age. Maybe you would like her, after all.” One Friday night after midnight my bell rings. I’m watching a late.
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