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. in a rocking chair ‘Cos the Lord don’t want ... no rockers thereOh you’ll never get to heaven ... in a sardine tin ‘Cos the Lord don’t let ... no fishy ones inOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... in an apple tree ‘Cos an apple tree... ‘s got roots you seeOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... on roller skates ‘Cos you’d roll right past ... them Pearly GatesOh you’ll l never get to Heaven ... in a Playtex bra ‘Cos a Playtex bra ... won’t stretch that farOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... with a bottle of gin ‘Cos St Peter won’t let ... no spirits inOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... on water skis ‘Cos the angels don’t ... like those hairy kneesOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... with powder and paint ‘Cos it makes you look ... like what you ain’tOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... in a strapless gown ‘Cos a strapless gown ... might fall right down”There were many more verses than I’ve listed here. Eventually, Fred strummed a final chord, and rested the guitar.Once we had got our own breath back,. "Johnny Depp, of course." Pirates of the Caribbean was on.With the ice broken, we began to talk about the movie, then movies ingeneral, and finally introductions were made. I discovered that his namewas Jack and the he, surprise surprise, was a hair stylist who owned hison salon. We traded stories and, before I knew it, we were talkingexclusively about me. Soon he was flirting with me heavily, and he knewthe right things to say.Typically, the guys who hit on me have no tact whatsoever; buying me adrink and asking me over to their place for sex in the same breath. Butnot this one. He was such a charmer. We were talking, and suddenly hishand was in mine. His fingertips drew pictures on my palms and sentshivers up my spine. The conversation continued, only now he was lightlytouching my arm while he talked and I was finding it harder to thinkabout my answers.Slowly, everything disappeared. The movie, the bar, and everyone aroundus dissolved away; leaving just him and I. The conversation.
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