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The flip side, is that I never really let myself be myself. I always catered to their needs and desires. Well, not totally, but it was better to be passive and agreeable than argue. And most of the time, I didn't particularly care one way or another. That's part of the problem right there. I didn't care.Shit. Jenny must be right. I am a closed book. So if that's the problem, the obvious solution is let myself open up. To get beyond the simple expedient of being 'the boyfriend' and allowing them to see the real me, which is terrifying to contemplate.Why was that such a scary thought? Fear of rejection? Well, I should be used to that by now. Except, I always took comfort in the idea that they weren't really rejecting me, because they didn't really know the 'real' me. They were rejecting my version of 'the boyfriend'.I was slowly realizing, that playing the boyfriend was a dead end, had always been a dead end, and if I ever wanted something like long-term happiness I'd have to be honest. So I went out and was grabbed by two BBC guys, they put something over my nose and I passed out.When I awoke there where 10 may be more big black guys, around me " hay boys the faggot is waking up!! I looked down at my body I was shaven all over apart from my head, the rest was smooth as a babies bum. I was dressed in a schoolgirls uniform a very short black mini skirt, a white blouse that was open showing my red silk bra with matching panties. I had faulse breasts glued to me size 38 dd I think, my hair was real long blond.The BBC gang all surrounded me, I could not move as my legs where spread wide open a bar stopping me from closing them, my feet are locked to the floor. I start to shout leave me alone!!!!!You think we are a faggots like you? Ohhhhhh no your the only bitch here, and when we have qsweeze this period blood from a bitch in heat into your pussy. The stud dogs will only see you as a bitch in heat, ohhh yes and your on the studs breeding bench!!!!The gag all laughing as.
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