But then she was talking about the hulking brutes that Isaw visit her so often."But you see, those real men that a woman loves to have, can't give hereverything she needs. That's were a gentle boy like you comes in. A boythat knows he could never satisfy a woman with what he has between hislegs. A boy that knows the way he satisfies is by pleasing those aroundhim in other ways. By cooking. By cleaning. By taking punishment forhis sins or just for the amusement of those who have power over him. Andyes, even by the soft touch of his lips and tongue. A boy who knows hisplace is at the feet of his betters."I began to shake. The tears flowed more freely. I was scared. Scaredas I had never been in my life. And at the same time, I knew she wasright. I knew that, because she knew me, to the very depths of my soul,already I was hopelessly lost. The feeling that I felt, even above thefear, was gratitude, and peace. Here was a woman that I would never haveto worry about finding. It was Sarita’s marriage. It was December. The first big ceremony that is happening in our family in our generation. Just a few days before marriage, Sarita called me to the terrace and expressed her nervousness about the first night. I was laughing out loud. But she was serious about it.Me: What is it that you are really nervous about?Sarita: Kiran (her fiance then) is a gentleman. But…Me: But What?Sarita: I am really nervous about sex.Me: I do not get it why you are really so nervous. If you don’t want it, just tell him you need time.Sarita: It is not that I am not ready. I am just nervous. You won’t understand now anyway. We left the terrace, then. But that conversation made me curious about sex. What is it about sex that makes a woman so nervous? Sarita and Kiran love each other so deeply. They are one hell of a couple made for each other. They fit in with each other so nicely. Yet still, what makes her nervous? I wanted to discuss this with Arjun but was scared to do so. We.
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