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“Anything else?” asked the officer.The monkey mimed a kiss.“They were kissing too?”The monkey nodded his head.“So,” said the officer, “you’re saying they were drinking, smoking and kissing before they crashed the car?”The monkey nodded.“And what were you doing while all this was going on?”“Driving,” mimed the monkey.A couple were driving home late at night in the pouring rain when their car accidentally ran over a badger. They got out of the car to see whether it was still alive, and found that although it was very cold, the animal was still breathing. “What shall we do?” said the wife. “I know,” said the husband. “Put it between your legs to warm it up.” “But it’s all wet and it stinks!” “Well, cover the badger’s nose then!”A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some condoms. She asks, “What size please?” “Good question,” he replies, “ I’m not sure,” “Tell ya what. Right outside, there’s a fence with three holes in it, stick your dick in the holes and tell me which. She didn’t realize that in an industry like theirs, reputation went a long way. Most of her older employees quit and went to work for Charley athis new shop. Shoddy work and a few missed deadlines and she was bankrupt, forced to sell for ten cents on the dollar. Charley was the only one who made an offer. She refused until the banks gave her no choice. She took what she could get and sold the house she had gotten in the divorce, moved, and opened a small interior design company in another town. Although she hadn’t worked at it in years, she was quite good and soon had a nice business, but she was very bitter. Surprisingly, her lawyer/lover stood by her, and they married, living a much less glamorous life than they envisioned. What Charley didn’t know was his ex was behind him the whole time he was talking to David, and heard the whole conversation. She had come of course to promote her business, and was having a hard time getting any interest. In frustration when an old friend.
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