"So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery.As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.He said, "Do you have any rye bread?" Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"He said, "I want 5 loaves."She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this shit but me."Selling BiblesA pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some. "Yeah?" he said. "I'm here for the party," Bailee said proudly. "I don't think so. Aren't you a junior?" "I'm nineteen years old, see my I.D.?" she said, showing him the card. About that time a couple other guys showed up. "What's up, Tank?" "This little girl thinks she wants to party," the goalkeeper said. "She says she has an I.D. that says she's nineteen, but we've all seen fake I.D.'s." "Let's see it," he said. Tank handed him the card. "Hmm, looks real enough for me. Hell, let her in. If she wants to party, then let her party - the more the merrier!" "You're the captain," he said, and let Bailee in. The team captain showed her where to get a beer, and then went off to talk to some other party-goers. Bailee took her beer and went to find a place to sit. Finding all the chairs occupied with at least one person (and many of them with two), she decided to use the steps leading upstairs as a seat. Several other people had as well, so she had plenty of people to talk to. Bailee.
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