Eric admitted that he was. “You look as if you could do with a cuddle too?” “I'm too old for that!” Eric replied, none too sure of whether his answer was really the one he wanted to give. “No-one's too old for a cuddle, Eric.” With that, she went over to him, lifted him into her arms and went back to her seat, cuddling him firmly to her breast and rocking him gently. “That's not so bad, is it?” She asked. Eric shook his head to agree that it wasn't. “Open wide!” she said, as she fished a large pacifier out of her bin beside her. She's popped it in Eric's mouth which he'd obediently opened before he realised what she intended to do. He was about to spit it out in protest when she held it there and pointed out to him that it had a very large guard over his lips because it was designed for big boys who thought they were too big for pacifiers. Eric sucked at it as his nerves took the better of him. The nurse was used to frightened 'big boys' who really needed a bit of. He got his way, we were not born bastards, but my parents divorced two years after they were joined. I wonder what my grandfather considered my brother and me then?’ ‘Was the divorce messy?’ Malichai asked as he stroked a fingertip along the back of my hand. ‘Aren’t they all? It was 1979, sex and drugs were the norm, and my dad couldn’t get enough of either. He embraced decadence with gusto, carousing the streets of Dallas with this or that floozy, blitzed out of his mind on cocaine and alcohol. My mother on the other hand, was more practical. She begged him to settle down, to be the husband and father she honestly thought he could be, but he would have none of it. Eventually my mother got fed up. She sold the house my grandfather had given us when my parents were married for a pittance of two-hundred dollars. She said by the time she had made up her mind to leave, things were so bad that she could not stand the idea of waiting for a more realistic offer for the house. I was two.
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