Her skinny black jeans were faded to a charcoal, and both knees had given out.She had on a black, lightweight sweater, a pullover, that was pilled and snagged. Like something she’d picked up in a thrift store or, more likely, had been wearing since junior high school. When she got up to board the train with me, you could just tell from the way things were moving beneath that sweater that her small breasts were otherwise unrestrained. And as I sat next to her talking, I could see a tiny moth hole that revealed a pale spot of the bare flesh of the side of her breast. Lust like silver filigree threaded through me.People make up stories like this all the time. I get that. Guys like me, guys who are delicately falling apart, losing their way because they don’t know what life is supposed to mean anymore, they fantasize about the girl at the train stop. They get home and ghost-stage that fantasy, the moving-picture show playing on the inside of their eyelids—such unlikely casting, but there. Sandi will start trying to get pregnantas soon as you get castrated. Face it, once you are laying there waitingto be castrated, the last ounce of independence leaves you. From thatpoint on, you are their willing submissive. Being such, Sandi has nodoubt that you are here to stay.Once the baby is born, you will quit your job and become a stay at home"mom". You will assume the role of the traditional homemaker and takecare of the house, Sandi and the children.That will be your life for as long as you live. Do you understand what Iam telling you?"I meekly shook my head yes. "I guess I have some thinking to do. SoJamie, do you have any regrets? I mean your life is hardly what the"normal" guy would be living." I was thinking the same things that you are now. For each it isdifferent but, for me it was the right choice and I have no regrets. Iguess I knew myself good enough to know that I would be happy like this,and I am.At first it took a little adjustment to being castrated but, I soon.
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