On the way down the hill I ran into a pharmacy and asked the pharmacist: “Do you have something to stop this coffin?”A bit of British Humor... I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he’s only got one arm bless him.I shouted - “Where you off to Charlie?”He said, “I’m off to change a light bulb.”“That’s gonna be a bit awkward init?”“Not really.” he said. “I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.”Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring.So, at least I got home OK.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.“German,” she replies.“Occupation?”“No, just here for a few days.”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Let me out!”The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters, “Too late, mate, the paperwork’s already done.”I spent a couple of. "I knew Maddy was sincere. And I knew that Maddy was thinking about last year, when she was one of the giggly crowd that pointed fingers and made fun of me and Tina."Maddy, we've HAD that talk," I said. "We're way past that. And you're FAR from stupid, you know..." Yeah, okay, but if it's not stupidity, what is it, then?" Human nature," Kellen answered. "Natural reaction."Thank you, Kell," I said.Kellen continued, "And that's why we have civilizing things like religion and family, to get us past natural reaction. Sometimes it takes a while." Sometimes that's the reason things go off track, though," Maddy said. "Some families..." she paused. "Not mine, though. Mom and Dad would've been so ashamed if they knew ... I mean, we have relatives, you know, they'd make the cover of "Redneck Homes". And Mom and Dad love 'em, cuz they're family."I mulled that point quickly. "Yeah, but that's still family. You don't get to choose family. But another thing you learn is that you get over things.
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