I held his hand as I lay my head on his bed letting my tears flow in silence. When he weakly squeezed my hand, I jumped and when I looked into his eyes, I saw his smiling face. I jumped up and like a fool, I began kissing his hand. I leaned over close to him, ‘Oh Mr. Mathews I thought we’d lost you, I was so afraid and…’ ‘It’s all right Judy, I’m OK.’ ‘No it’s not OK I swore I would do this so here goes, I was so frightened you would never know so I’m telling you right now, Mr. Mathews I love you.’ I felt my face turn red as I realized what I’d just done. ‘I’m sorry I know I should not have said that, it’s just I was afraid you’d die and you would never have known my feelings.’ I was far too embarrassed to look him in the eye but he took my chin and raised it to meet his gaze. ‘Judy I don’t know what to say, no one has ever said that to me, not even my parents. I could tell you had feelings for me but I had no idea there were so strong.’ I went to visit him every day and then one day. I don’t know what to do anymore. If I let her go, I know I’ll loose her forever and I know she’ll have that abortion! I can’t live with that aunt Darleen.’ ‘You go home, you unchain her and than you let that girl go.’ ‘But-‘ ‘No buts’, you set her free Jakub, I mean it! If she loves you than she’ll-‘ ‘She doesn’t love me.’ he cut her off. ‘Well do you think keeping her prisoner will make her love you?’ ‘no, nothing could make her love me again.’ he said feeling his heart clawing through his ribs and his lungs, jumping from the huge hole in his chest than falling dead to the floor, never to beat again. ‘I know that now.’ ‘You can’t hold her against her will and you can’t force her love Jakub. You just have to let her go.’ ‘I know.’ ‘Immediately!’ she insisted ‘I know.’ he said, his head hung low and a spiked fist deep in his gut, grabbing and twisting. *** ‘Beatrix, come here!’ Geoff whispered loudly to his wife. Bea scuffled as fast as she could with the large tray of tea in her.
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