Con un pò di timore mi chiese:---- Adesso cosa penserai di tua madre..!?La rassicurai:---- Che è stato bellissimo. ... non lo avevo mai fatto. . ..grazie.. mamma....!Ma mia MADRE voleva precisare. :---- Sai cosa sono arrivata a fare....? E... lo fatto per te...!Con stupore per il suo linguaggio gli risposi:---- . ... ... ..no!... ..! cosa...?---- E stata la prima volta..! ---- Che cosa.. mamma...? --- Al fatto che... ... mi sono fatta SBORRARE IN BOCCA come una prostituta ...... ma, almeno ti è piaciuto... ? ho notato che avevi bisogno..!---- Moltissimo,. ..è qualcosa che non si può rinunciare. ... .E sono ancora in tiro..guarda...!..mamma........che effetto mi fai..!Lei un po' timorosa per il futuro:---- Mi stai giudicando male ....? Sarò sempre tua madre...?---- No... ... ... .MAMMA... ... .mi sei sempre piaciuta..!---- Allora asciugati, poi vieni in camera mia !... SE VUOI TI FACCIO SCOPARE.!Sbalordito , curioso, ma anche eccitato, mi asciugai in un secondo, e con l'asciugamano. I hated myself for what I'd become, but was unable to stop the downward spiral. Sue was the only one in the house that knew what was happening to me. Many a night after I had come home, stoned, drunk, and used, did she creep into my room to comfort me. Mum tried to help, but all she got for her troubles was abuse, then when I'd cooled down, I hated myself for the things I'd said.Hate, hate, hate. That was what my world had become. I didn't approve of what I had grown to be. I hated what the guys did to me. I hated anyone that tried to help me, but most of all I hated myself.Joel had been invited to a party. For once, he was reluctant to take me, but using my feminine wiles, I got him to change his mind. "If I leave early, then I want you to come with me, I'm not sure about this lot."Of course, I would have promised him anything, but once I was there, I would make up my own mind.We arrived early, and for the life of me, I couldn't see what he was worried about. There was an almost.
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