She had returned to work at the same school, and ran the ‘English for Adults’ courses in the evenings, and that filled her days. With all the children gone as well, she could not face cooking meals for one, and consequently lost weight.She had written to John that the house seemed to echo with emptiness, but she knew that in reality the loneliness was within her, and as the weeks went by she had plenty of time in the empty house to ponder her situation. The realisation grew that the pain was not only the loss of Peter, but guilt over his early death.When she looked in the mirror she saw a woman who had driven her husband to a stroke by deserting him to go to another man. Sitting alone in the silent living room she blamed herself for going off to live with John. Had she used Peter’s jealousy to justify spending more time with her first real boyfriend?John was too hospitable, she thought, too loving and too addictive. She had gone back to Peter, yes, but too late: she selfishly had. "So, you will be on the scout team while he gets that practice."I looked at him for a few seconds and debated whether to chuck it in or stick it out for at least this practice. I finally decided to heed John's advice and see what he could dig up before I made a decision. I took the jersey and skated away from them, over to the other bench. Ian was being informed by Sam and he looked happy when he passed me. The rest of the scout team, who had been watching what was going on, were smirking or grinning at my demotion. I ignored them and stepped off the ice, and, before sitting on the bench, put on the jersey. I was seething inside but kept my face expressionless.Sam came over and talked to defensive pairings and Bob, the second string goalie."Ok, we'll be emulating a neutral zone trap so you guys stand up at the blueline and force them to dump it in behind you," Sam said. "The goalie has to help out more because of that, so Bob, you'll have to get out more and help the puck along to.
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