”She smiles at me and says, “Thank you Ben. While I like the world to know I am gestating our baby, this shirt causes extreme discomfort.”I fume at the comment about my baby so I can’t wait to find out the real truth. But I wisely keep my mouth shut.We arrive at a local store, I look at Ira and say, “Ira, I trust you with the cash to purchase everything because you’re not hyped up on hormones.”I hand her a huge wad of cash and Ira replies, “Have no concern Ben, I will control the hormonally challenged hoard.”They all leave the truck, placing Alexi inside a shopping cart, and walk into the store.I lean my head against the steering wheel and am simply overwhelmed. Dammit all to hell! A few tears trickle out of my eyes. How in the fuck did things ever get so messed up. I pull myself together and begin to search for a paternity clinic on my mobile phone. I can’t fucking believe my eyes when they head back to the truck with five full shopping carts.Zarika and Safia begin to complain, “Ben,. True, I wasn’t with the Kerouacs or Cassidys, riding and driving in cross country orgies of food, booze, a few women (very few women), Buddhism and poetry, no I was too much in the midst of my disillusionment with Rod McKuen to know about beat poetry. I stood in line that October, not knowing that just a year later, the woman I waited to see would take her blanket into her car and go to sleep forever while still parked in her garage. I only knew it was Anne, Anne Sexton, and though I didn’t know much about her at the time, just her name alone exuded a sexuality we ached for. So I followed the line of English Majors, wannabe poets and others to listen to her speak and read. In a small auditorium she read a poem to Dr. Y, talked of her books Live or Die and Love Poems and then read ‘That Awful Rowing Toward God.’ From the nods of the people surrounding me I could tell it was good, for me it was simply incredible. Of course she could have been reading from the phone book and I’d have.
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