“I really like being with you, and honestly, there are times when I wish I was different and could be with you. But I know myself well enough that I know I’d hurt you, badly, at some point. I’d love to have you as a friend. In fact, I think you could be my best friend. That’s the best way for us to be together.“To be honest, I don’t know how Elyse will deal with me and my issues. The only girls that I’ve found who seem to be able to handle it are Jennifer and Pia, and even Pia had issues with how I am. You know my past, Bethany, you know what I’ve done. I don’t think a guy like me is right for you.”She was sobbing softly, “I do love you, Steve! I want to be with you. I want to make love with you.”“I know Bethany. You’ve wanted that from the time you asked me to the dance. I care deeply for you, but in the end, I’m not the right guy for you.”“Shouldn’t that be my decision?”“Yes, it should. But you need to be honest with yourself about what you really want and who I am and what I can. She wanted to stop you, but now you can do it…’ Dean intoned, and Atka’s friend recalled her interrupted look at the card. Atka had kept her from doing what felt like real fun. Smiling faintly, and picking one up, she twitched it back and forth in the light, slowly and more slowly. ‘The more slowly you move, the better it gets…’ Dean suggested, and her hands moved in smaller and smaller measures, until she stopped all together. ‘If you look more closely at the card, look at the center of the symbol, you will find that you can pause and look into the beautiful dreams that are coming now.’ He led her deeper into her trance, while noticing that this was a different effect than Atka’s showed. The symbol’s sexual suggestions were being deeply understood now, as the attractive young student’s nipples rose beneath her sweater. He watched her face flush with excitement, and her eyes dilate. She seemed unaware of her body’s preparations. A wave of warmth drew him toward her, but he steadied.
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