I sort of remember that. I was supposed to go outside and play when I was little. Go mow the lawn. Go ride your bicycle. Go do something, don’t just sit there daydreaming. I guess I could protest that I was doing something when I ran or played the guitar but I still wonder if I was meditating or just daydreaming.I just know that when I emerge from that bit of time, I feel refreshed and at peace. Is that what V2 felt when he walked in front of a bus? A calm sense of decision—knowing what he was going to do.I’ll never know, I suppose. I still think he was a stupid idiot. He had everything. He had music. And nightmares. That’s not over for me but I seem to be able to shift from the nightmare to the peace I’ve found with Em. I miss her so much.My only final on Monday was Intro to Entrepreneurship. When it was over, I didn’t have to return to that class for the rest of the week unless summoned. I hoped Mr. Bryce would review my startup plan and call me in for a review. The more I thought. I couldnt say yes fast enough! He said he wasn't doing anything that night so I invited him over! Waiting for him to arrive, I showered and put on shorts and tshirt. I figured I would go commando again. When he arrived I let him in and we sat in the kitchen and poured some margaritas I made as I waited for him. I rolled a few joints too which I left on the table. He asked if he could light one, I said of course and we smoked it. We started to laugh about the people at the party and I felt his hand on my knee. I kinda got quiet and he asked if I was ok. I nodded and said I was fine. Next thing I knew we were on the sofa making out! It was like I never realized we went to the sofa! We just got there and he kissed me. I kissed him back and we just started to make out. He was a great kisser. I never kissed a man before but I was liking it a lot! He started to rub my chest and I put my arms around him as we kissed more. Lots of tongue now! My nipples were so hard when he found one.
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