Most of the time however, she went about with her eyes downcast, tiptoeing around, acting like a dog that's been kicked a few times too often. She hadn't grown sly yet like her mother, but she was headed that way. She would behave in a defiant way now and again, but always over small, incidental things that gained her very minor victories. She told stupid lies too, as if the truth wasn't good enough or interesting enough for anyone to hear. She put on a fairly good facade however, sometimes acting as if she really didn't care, but that tactic didn't work well either. She was a well trained 'victim' just waiting for some victimizer to come along. It made me furious to see it.Like most of her peers though, she was discovering boys - that's BOYS! in upper case letters that is. Boys however are jerks. They seem to be either wimps or super-macho little asses. It isn't their fault altogether; it's they way we raise them, frustrating any genuine maleness in them and giving them exaggerated. By that time I had moved off campus and had my own apartment, ah yessweet privacy! I also had a steady girlfriend who was a psychologymajor and remarkably insightful. I did not tell her about mycrossdressing and while at this point in life I can see that that waswrong on my part back then I was seriously scared about being forthrightabout it. One night she and I were hanging out in my apartment andclear out of the blue she told me that I had beautiful eyes and that shewanted to see how beautiful they could be with makeup. I had a reallyhard time trying to appear reluctant for I was anything but reluctantbut pretended to cave and let her go for it.I was amazed. I had tried makeup myself but had no idea what I was doingso the results were less than spectacular; this time with her knowledgeand skill the results were spectacular. I had really beautiful andmoreover feminine looking eyes when she was done with me. She let mesee her work and then told me that she could make them all.
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