“Maw, whut’s a birthday?”Into her second glass already, the fortyish woman looked at the child and said, “That’s the day Ah wuz born.”“When’s MAH birthday?”“Ah doan know chile.”“But yer mah Ma so yew ourter know!”“No, Ah aint yer Ma and Ah wonner why yew alles call me thet. Yer Ma is in jail fer doin drugs and them govamint people brung yew here a long time ago because yer Ma is one of ma no-count daughters. The makes me yer granny but Ah likes the sound of Ma better. Not so old soundin.”That stirred some memories of another woman that let men get on top of her. That woman was often drunk or weird or sleeping and Yewanna would get powerful hungry. She would take the money after they got done if that woman was sleeping. It must have been her real Ma. She might ask the man to get her a hamburger. If he did, sometimes when she was wolfing it down they would mess with her body and she knew she couldn’t object even though she didn’t like it.Sippin that whisky stuff was too strong so she. "That's right. Non-nuns. Most of them were, I think, good Catholic girls, but they were true civilians, and the lives they lived -- the glimpses I got of their off-duty lives -- made me realize that my... personal attitudes weren't entirely appropriate for being a nun." You envied those other women?" Sometimes, yes. I mean, in many cases, they were just young women with what were often messy and unenviable relationships with young men. It wasn't all sweetness and light. It wasn't like I was always just seeing the good side of the secular life. But I... well, I noticed the men, and, to me -- comparing my own way of life to those young women -- it seemed that I was really missing something." But you stayed with it, all those year?" Yes. And even after I left the Order. Even after I made the choice of a new way of living, nothing much has changed." Do you ever... regret leaving?" No. Not at all. And I don't feel any guilt about it, either. Choosing to leave the convent and the Church.
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