I…we…really like the area.” she was, smiling for the first time.I introduced myself and took her hand. “i’m shailendra.”“jothi.” she said, now beginning to relax. ” it’s very nice to meet you i like lever sold here it’s only available certain days—hence the line. I’m having friends over for dinner.”She responded. “i love lever; my husband doesn’t. I often order it when we’re out, but i’ve never prepared it at home. I took my order and waited for her. She came and said ur wife must be expert. I said know she has gone to her for delivery . Iam going to cook . That’s nice she said . How are you going to cook it?”She was very relaxed now, and quite friendly as i responded. “i’ve got a new recipe i’ve been working on.”“i’d love to have your recipe. Would you share?” the first hint of flirtation.“i’d be happy to. It’s very easy. It doesn’t take long and the prep is minimal. Where do you live? I could drop it by or you could pick it up on your way home.”She paused still checking me out as. I looked over at the second roll I'd prepared. Should I?"Oh," the new girl moaned, "how do you get bread to come out like this?"I buried my head in a pillow quietly enough that she wouldn't notice. Icouldn't do this. I couldn't live knowing who this person used to be,even knowing that I'd helped her, improved her life. I still wanted usto stay close, and we would, but I wanted to remember too. Wanted tokeep Wally in my head so he could still exist in some way.But it would never work. I couldn't have both. If she stayed in mylife, she'd always remind me of Wally, and if she left then I would losethe bond. I'd made a mistake by even trying this in the first place.So I didn't have a choice.I silently lifted myself up, reached for the second roll, brought it tothe side of my head and, for the second time that afternoon, I killed myhusband.It felt weird. Like, when your sinuses are clogged and you turn yourhead, the feeling of all the gunk inside moving from one side to theother. .
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