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That night, when I went to bed, I found it difficult to sleep onceagain. It wasn't just being in a different bed--not to mention adifferent body. Now that I wasn't busy with a frenzy of cleaning andcooking, I had time to think about the implications of what had happenedthis day. I asked myself, as I do to this day, whether or not I reallydid the right thing.Yes, Denise had told me that she wanted her life to end, and she wantedme to take it over. But did that make it right? The instruction manualfor the gun had told us that the wearer of the costume could remove itat any time, zip it up, and restore the person who had been zapped tolife. Denise had threatened that if I ever did this at any point for anyreason, she would figure out a way to kill me, and then do herself in.The one way to prevent this from happening and to make the changepermanent would be to transform someone else into a costume, put thatcostume on over the Denise costume and then remove it. Once that wasdone, the. . and then something came over her, some indefinable emotion. The smile faded, quickly replaced by a look of intense sadness — a look of a mother losing her child.She arose suddenly, put the ring on the table, grabbed the box and ran from the restaurant!I stared after her, bewildered and hurt. I felt a pain beyond any expectation. I was expecting her to tease me a little, and then give me a hug and say, "Yes!"I slowly dragged myself into my chair as the waiter appeared with a bottle of champagne. Seeing my love not there he beat a swift retreat, looking back at me once with a look of hurt on his face. I sat there, openly crying, and finally stood and walked slowly to my car. Back at my lonely apartment I stared at the phone, waiting endlessly for it to ring, for Sara Jane to call and explain everything to me.I finally called her after agonizing over what to say. Of course it went to her answering service and I left a bleak message asking her to call me when she had a chance..
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