I am responsible for my own broken heart, as well as the shattered pieces of others that I’ve loved and whose hearts I maimed with my own selfishness and wanting. The following is a complicated story, but if you read it you shall be rewarded. Pick up the pieces with me, as I revisit my dark and forlorn past. —- Impulsive. There’s one word—something that I do not appear to be, although I am. I thought as I sat unobtrusively on the stool of a bar, wishing I had more single friends to get together with. Sure, it was great that all my close friends had a significant other to share their time with, but in all honesty, and especially on nights like this, it was frustrating beyond belief. I took another sip of my drink and mulled the flavours over in my mouth, running my tongue along the outside of my lip, wetting it ever so slightly. I sometimes imagined if men looking in my direction at the time found this action in any way sensual, or if they felt it was as silly as I did, to lick. It really turned me on, causing strange sensations in my groin. He always stroked it a few times before tucking it into his swimsuit, kind of like showing it off. James taught me how to swim and seemed to touch me a lot during these sessions, but I did not mind for it felt good. James and Mom after about a year got married. We lived in a small house and their bedroom was next to mind. At night I could hear them making love. I heard Mom remind him to use a rubber each night as he prepared to enter her. I heard her moan and groan as they went at it. The bed springs bouncing as he fucked her. My cock would rise up and get hard and I would jack off to their sounds of fucking. I imagined James and I playing around together as he fucked Mom, and I masturbated. Even with Mom reminding James to use a rubber, he must have gotten it in one night or more with out one, because Mom became pregnant When she was about 8 months along she began complaining about how uncomfortable it was to.
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