6 a.m. and the beginning of another exciting November Tuesday. In every respect it was another typical day in the never-ending cycle of workweeks. Shower, masturbate, shave, dress and run out to the freezing vinyl bench seats in his ancient beater of a car. It had been the same cycle for six years now. College had been an exciting litany of girls, beer, and d**gs but somehow left him ill prepared for the monotony of living and earning in the "real world". Certainly, there were the occasional events that added excitement to this otherwise drab life he led. But the joy of finger banging the random bridesmaid at one of his friend's weddings was quickly obscured by the ceaseless paperwork and dull fluorescent glow of his nine to five existence. There was nothing about this Tuesday morning that seemed remotely special to Darren. As he fought his way through morning traffic he was convinced even the radio DJ's were repeating a show from last week. The highlight of his workday was a coffee. Fred, who was fairly new at this game, (in fact there had been a lengthy discussion by the High Command on whether he was fit for this type of work at all) had pulled himself up to his magnificent height of 4 feet and had shouted, using his best, and newly acquired command voice, "Stop! Stand still! Uhh," he tried to remember the right words. They came to him in a flash. "Freeze you bastards or you're gonna make my day!" He felt quite satisfied with that. He had a good voice at the best of times, or so his pod mother thought, and he had practised long and hard to get it just right.The trouble was these stupid savages weren't paying any attention. Fred scratched his arse thoughtfully and decided to use his weapon. Now Fred called it a weapon and most things whose last conscious sight, before they were transformed into slavish zombies, and had been looking down the business end of it would have called it a weapon. But it wasn't a weapon in the true sense of the word. Instead of blowing.
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