‘You can dangle a carrot on the end of stick in front of a mule, and he’ll walk toward that carrot until he drops from exhaustion. Men are not like that for long. Like donkeys and horses, they will leave the path you want them to be on, because they grasp the concept of futility. You can keep them on the path by using sticks and carrots, but not in the same way. If they’re doing what you want them to do, you give them the carrot. If they’re not doing what you want them to do, you beat them with the stick. ‘You have to be a careful judge of what’s required. Too few carrots and too many sticks will land you beside the road with a pile of old rotten carrots and a broken stick. Too many carrots and too few sticks and you’ll end up beside the road with no carrots and a perfectly good stick that will scare away any replacement. With men, you need a good balance.’ I knew there was a point to this analogy, but I wasn’t sure just what it was. ‘What’s the point of this, Kyra?’ ‘I think you’re. She said we’d been going steady for several months… Well, she said she thought we’d enjoy it, too.’ ‘Are you telling me you want to have sex?’ ‘No. I’m telling you what Kathy said, but if you promised not to push me to have sex, I’d be willing to go farther than we’ve gone before.’ Sarah had revealed something about herself I hadn’t anticipated. It occurred to me that she was telling me what Kathy had said to distance herself from her comment. ‘Maybe we ought to talk about this some more,’ I said. She abruptly straightened in her seat and said, ‘I think I’d better go in—it’s getting late.’ I walked her to the door again. Her goodbye kiss and hug were about the same as always, leaving me wondering if she really believed what she’d said in the car. Over the next day or so I replayed our conversation, trying to separate Sarah’s thoughts from Kathy’s. Was Sarah acting on her own, or was Kathy pushing her? The following weekend, Sarah and I had another date. We both seemed to be skirting.
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