This baby would not be spending much more time inside her."I thought I was going to piss myself I was laughing so hard when Randy asked Lisa to have that 'officious functionary' taken into custody for contempt of marriage."The look on the nurse's face when Lisa started with, 'Ma'am, I'm afraid I'm going to have to have you taken into custody.'"All of the pain was gone for those few moments."Karen was recounting the events leading up to Alexander's birth."And," she patted my hand, "he was so helpful, mom."Did I detect a tone of condescension?"He told me to take slow, deep breaths. And what did I tell you, Randy?" She told me I could demonstrate the process as soon as she punched me in the nuts."My mother howled. She loved Karen and was delighted to be called 'mom.'"But you're doing it now," I said."Sure, after taking all the yoga. And don't forget the epidural."Things were quite a bit less hectic than with our first.Karen's doctor told us it was time. I tilted my head. If I didn't look at her phone I would have no idea about any of this. The next hour was pretty routine. Drinking coffee, watching the sports highlights from the previous night. I could hear Katie in our room deciding on an outfit for her day. She never did choose one before I "left for work" which I'm assuming is because she didn't want me to see what she had planned. I kissed her goodbye and told her I loved her then left the house and got into my car. I drove around and got a coffee then drove back home but I parked around the corner. I sat there wondering why the fuck I haven't snapped yet and left her for cheating on me. The butterflies in my stomach in anticipation for the events to follow kept making me forget the anger and just focus on the intrigue. It wasn't long before there she was. Katie was leaving the house in the most ridiculous outfit for 10 am. She was wearing one of her tight clubbing dresses. It was candy apple red and you could see her legs above the stockings the.
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