However, with the sound of my sister calling me "Chicken," I pushed off and leapt towards the pool. With a lot of relief, I cleared the cement apron and dove into the pool. What neither of us had realized, our dad had seen me dive from the tower. A lot of shouting ensued which consisted of us listening and dad doing the shouting. We were told to never, ever do that again. As so often happens with parents, dad repeated several times that we were never to jump or dive from the tower again.Now the truth be told, I was scared shitless when I jumped the first time. I felt I was lucky to have made the dive and survived in one piece ... I was perfectly happy to end my diving career with just the one dive. The problem was now that I was forbidden to dive from the tower; the idea of diving took on a totally new aspect. It was FORBIDDEN. One of the things so many of us discover in our youth, quite often the things we are forbidden to do are often the most fun/exciting. Now that diving off the. My life is not what I though that it would be. I found myself unemployed and broke with no one in my life. I’ve been pondering over my life and wonder what life would have been different if I did a few things different. When I walk into the hall closet, a book falls onto my head. I look at the book realize it is a journal that I that I wrote in high school after collection of suicides. The school wanted to know any depression from the rest of the student body.I slowly scan the book and remember remembering being a bit of a nerd, I would always stutter around them. I was also having slight issue with blackouts during this time. The blackouts sometimes lasted for few minutes while others lasted for whole night. The worse blackouts occurred about the same time after seeing the girls the last time before they committed suicide.As I scan the title of the first page I can recall the first major blackout. It was following the homecoming dance when I saw Sarah, was a red headed girl, with.
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