She was about to say, 'You don't know what it's like to beraped by him, night after night.' I smiled, I knew. Ipondered for a moment if I would have turned over someoneelse to fill my position in this sick game, given thechoice. I could not bear the thought of putting anyonethrough what I'd been through."He conspired with my parents to do this to me. In hisstead, he offered me up. He traded my life for his freedom.How very noble! He had his turn raping me as well. Did youknow that?" I said, back to my icy tone."You're lying," she spat."No. No lies from me. Not after this last supper. Tonight,we enumerate and pay for our sins, Mary. Before she had thebottom surgery, she brought me upstairs, put me in thisslutty little outfit, and fucked me. She was bitter andhateful. It was not an act of love, trust me. She wasinfected with whatever daddy has," I paused."Did you ever read 'To Kill a Mockingbird'? There was avery touching scene where Attacus Finch is forced to shoota rabid dog. It. I haven’t had a boyfriend in almost a year, and though I’ve never really felt the pressure to force something just to not be alone, there is always something nice about being wanted. Like I said, I wasn’t that drunk, but I was still more than buzzed enough to just kind of go with it. I leaned into his touches, I got on top of him, I bit his neck. There was no part of it that I wasn’t participating in, even if a sober me would never have initiated that kind of thing. By the time we found a condom in the roommate’s night stand, I knew that this was only going to make for serious problems in the morning. The way he did everything showed — even if he was wasted — that he was really into it in a way I wasn’t. I could tell that he liked me. The sex wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t something I’d ever want to repeat.The next morning, I woke up early and gathered all my stuff before he woke up. I took the bus home smelling like Jack Daniels and cigarettes, and avoided everyone’s eyes. I took a long,.
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