Too quickly, her superior came up with some obviously pre-rehearsed flannel to encourage his star detective: ‘Perhaps they believe that the skills you have honed at our unpretentious provincial level are untainted by the sophisticated modern crime world of the City.’ ‘You mean they need a hick suburban plod as a scapegoat for allowing some villain to get away with a killing?’ Trina suggested, with more than a touch of scorn. ‘Oh, I’m sure that’s not the case, DCI Edwards,’ he reassured her, though with little conviction. ‘Anyway, as I understand it, sir, Kovchenko was found tied to a chair, dressed in ladies underwear with a plastic bag on his head. Nothing very sophisticated about that, I wouldn’t say.’ ‘Sounds right up your street then, DCI Edwards,’ he said smiling, ironically oblivious to what actually was up Trina’s private street. ‘It’s doubtless an inside job — an open-and-shut case, I would say. But they just need to be seen covering all the angles. Anyway, ours not to reason. Did you want me to get you an ice-cold bottle of Fiji Water, your highness?” I demanded sarcastically.“No sir, I mean I am literally not allowed to drink from the garden hose. It goes up my ass and nowhere else. I can drink from the pig trough when I am doing chores. I take it Becky didn’t tell you that either?” she said.I felt like a dumb fool. I genuinely felt sorry for her though. Becky and her didn’t deserve to drink from pig troughs. They were naughty girls and they liked the discipline but this seemed excessive to me. I led her to the pigpen and let her crawl over the fence. She was careful not to touch the electric wire and she even warned me about it. I didn’t know that the wire was electrically charged. Becky didn’t warn me of that either. I felt like I needed a notepad to write down the things I was going to say about Becky tonight.“Hello Bacon, Hello Pork Chops, Hello McRib,” she addressed three of the pigs playfully. They came to Stacy and rubbed against her legs.
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