I smiled and hugged her. “I know. I could tell that from watching you. Now that you’ve met him, what do you want to do next?”Jennifer thought for a bit. “I’m not sure,” she said then smiled as she continued, “I guess this is another one of those ‘sleep on it’ things. Hopefully by the morning I’ll know where we go from here.”The next morning Jennifer was wide awake and sitting in one of the chairs in the main room of our suite when I woke up. At first I thought she was sleeping but I realized she was deep in thought. “Good morning, my love” I said very quietly.Jennifer opened her eyes, ran and jumped into my arms, almost knocking me over. “Oh Wally, everything is okay. We can set a wedding date now. I’m so happy.” Before I could say a word my mouth was covered by hers as she started to passionately kiss me.Finally I managed to get disentangled. “Uh, I’m not sure I understand what’s happened. Can you fill me in?” I asked her.Jennifer looked at me with the most contented look I’d seen on. Is this all there is, he wonders on his way home one afternoon. What about Eat. Play. Sleep. Repeat…how would that feel? Unfortunately, he knows exactly how that feels but that reminds him of her and he cannot go there right now. He feels beat down by life. Not much in the mood to think about when the days were filled with laughing, flirting, and fun. He has been to enough therapy to know that when he is bummed out that is exactly when he thinks of her the most. She is the symbol of what he wanted – passion, excitement, energy, a challenge, a connection of mind and body. He nods his head when they say, ‘it wasn’t her she wanted, she just represented all of it.’ Given enough time and access it would have happened with any woman. This. Woman. Means. Nothing. He promises to come back to reality, get his head screwed on straight again, suck it up. He does ok for a while but then the numbness starts to wear him down and he lets himself drift. This week is particularly crappy – it’s his.
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