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Afterwards I hate myself for doing it and I promise I'll stop, never do it again." "You feel guilty." Not exactly," James said, "I think, why do I do it, it's just that it's . . . crazy, perverted. I say I'll stop. I won't do it any more. But then I get the urge and I do it again." Has there been times when you refused to give in to the urge?" Only if I couldn't do it, like if my wife was home, or I had work to do." And how do you feel then?" I don't think I feel anything. I just know I can't so I forget about it." Do you feel anxious?" No. Not that I'm aware of," James said."We're out of time," the therapist said. "I'd like to suggest something, James. Next time you get the urge, don't give in to it and pay attention to how you feel. Specifically if you feel anxious." "Okay. See you next week."James thought about the therapy session as he drove home. He resolved to follow the therapist's instructions. See if it made him anxious.He took the mail in, dropped it on the table by the. There was also a tinge of excitement, the possibility of tasting forbidden fruits. But, I was worried about Russ. I admitted to myself I was unsure of him. Would he forsake me for this blonde vixen who claimed to be my friend?"Yeah, there's some of that," I admitted. "I mean, what's going to happen to us?"Carolyn fixed her gaze on me. Her blue eyes were sparkling, but her face looked absolutely serene."We're going to get laid, Dee," she said. "That's all." It's not that simple. It can't be that simple. Everything will change. It always does." What are you talking about?" Pick any of our friends who's had an affair. Just look at them. They're different. Their relationships are different. Somebody always gets hurt." I didn't say I wanted to do this," Russ said, again, surprising me."Shut the fuck up, Russ," I said, nastily. "You and I both know the truth."The truth was that Carolyn fascinated my husband."If she wasn't married, and I wasn't married to you," he'd confessed to me, "I'd.
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