Most stayed late and ended up being chauffeured back to the City, the ostentatious limousines becoming a private shuttle service. The heiress spent much of her time in the company of artists and enjoyed their drunken insanity while getting drunk herself and pawing the amused secretary. The secretary reported on the ride into the city, calling it the most raucous fun she'd had and loved seeing the heiress loose and out of control. They ended up having the best of the artists join them in a threesome, but she doubted either of them remembered much of it.My sister doesn't drink to excess, not liking drunkenness, and the Amazon had stopped any drinking when she became pregnant, worrying that the fetus would drink too. I had a couple glasses of champagne and stopped to stay equal to my housemates. The young poet proved the exception to a sober Barrytown contingent getting as crazy as his fellow poets. The princess and her father joined them, one of the few times they got drunk together. Us. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let’s try to improve this,.
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