It demonstrated that she was still an English girl at heart, that we were familiars, and that there was no need to ask or explain. Both of us were hungry, and we tucked into our meal in companionable silence. Then, however, Helen leant back in her chair, hugging her tea-cup in her hands, looked at me and asked, “Why you? You know now why it was me that wanted this but - why you, Ben?”Helen took it for granted that I understood. I could not be flippant. So, I answered, choosing to tell the unembellished truth: -“I was willing, no eager to follow because you, Helen, are a beautiful, intelligent, desirable, and sexually tempting woman. You showed that you wanted me. For me, that was a gift I could not refuse. In your honesty and directness, you were irresistible. I wanted you immediately, there and then in the car. I wanted you as much as I’ve ever wanted a woman. And I still do.”Looking at Helen, I sensed that my answer pleased her. There was the beginning of a smile, but it vanished. She went to reply, then her lips started to tremble, her eyes filled and she just let go, huge wailing sobs that at first embarrassed me, but then – almost against my will- made me feel for her. I sat down next to her, handed her my handkerchief and waited for her to stop crying and start talking. Eventually she did – and it was pretty much what I expected. She was so, SO, sorry, it was a stupid one-off mistake. It was dumb – SHE was dumb. Could I ever forgive her and so on and so forth. After about five minutes of non-stop apologising and grovelling she tailed off. I had yet to say anything. I let the silence hang around for a good twenty seconds before I spoke. ‘You’ve hurt me Angela. I mean really hurt me. I don’t know if I can forgive you.’ ‘Please, Kenny, please!’ she implored. ‘I’ll do anything you want, just give me another chance.’ Anything? She did just say anything, didn’t she? A nasty thought crossed my mind – a way to punish her and get my rocks off at the same time. I.
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