Anyway, when Squiffy Sanders says, "How about another pint, young Pecan, and you fellers, what'll you have?" I knew he thought it was his turn to tell us a tale.If there is one thing I object to about Squiffy, and there are many, it's the fact that after all these years he still calls me 'Young Pecan'. Dammit, the bugger's only ten days older than me, but it was enough to put us a year apart at school, and he's never let me forget it.Where was I? Oh, yes, Squiffy's tales. But first I had to face another pint of Blenkinsop & Sanders Old Revolting. Well of course that's not what the brewery call it. Ha! They call it Best Bitter, but if that's the best they can do, well... So why do I drink so much of it? Damned fool question that, what the devil else am I supposed to drink, eh? Anyway, y'can't say too much about it because Squiffy's family have been brewing it for, oh, about two hundred and fifty years, and since they own the place and he's buyin', well... "Right oh then," says Squiffy. For when a fierce storm swept us out Of sight from our homelands.Our riches sank beneath the waves. Our ship lost all her hands.I alone survived this plight And clung for life and limbTo a barrel which supported me When I lost the will to swim.For seven days and seven nights Across a many a mileI struggled to remain afloat 'Till cast on a desert isle.I praised Allah for saving me -- I fell upon my knees.Embraced the sand and kissed the stones, The coral, rocks, and trees.And there upon the white-sand beach, This hallowed sun-warmed ground,Half-buried 'neath an old seashell, A silver ring I found.No sooner had I placed this ring Upon my shaking handThen a cloud of many-colored smoke Spewed from the metal band.A mighty Djinn, tall and fearsome Appeared before mine eyes.A sense of awe stole 'way my voice As I watched the great one rise.He spoke in tones measured and loud "Three wishes I grant thee, man.Be warned: they're not what ye expect -- Use caution.
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