"Hey-look at this sign," he said, nudging Lardo out of earshot."Says 'Clinic'." No-the little letters underneath-"Inside, a hefty woman in a stiff white outfit glared at me from behind a counter. I thought she could have lived off her fat for a whole winter or something. She squinted at me menacingly, as though she could read my mind."Over on the gurney," she hissed, waving me towards the wheeled cart along one of the walls."Huh? You don't even know what's wrong with me!" As if I don't," she snarled.Before five minutes had passed, a pair of burly female orderlies appeared, strapped me in place on the cart, and drove it quickly into an operating room. A moment later a big ugly woman in a surgical mask stalked quickly to my side, raised her hand and drove an anaesthetic needle into my butt, right through my jeans."Ow," I thought...then...calmly...slipped...****Outside still, my two half-drunk friends debated over the meaning of the tiny lettering on the door."What's it say?" asked. You’ll be fine.”It was surreal. Only ten minutes before she’d been agonized about the direction she was leaning towards. For me it was different. I’m a guy. I want to have sex, even if it’s with my mother. Actually, since then I’ve learned that’s not true. A large proportion of the male population isn’t interested in their mothers that way. It turns out that it’s really pretty black and white. A guy either thinks his mother is sexy, or he doesn’t. There doesn’t seem to be much in-between. On the other hand, it does seem to be true that most men choose a woman to marry who has many of his mother’s characteristics. All of this is based on anecdotal evidence, of course, but it looks that way to me.Now, however, all doubt was gone. Whether she’d just rationalized it in her own mind, or whether the act of sucking the sperm from my balls had overcome some barrier, things were now clear for her. She’d made her decision and our relationship had undergone a critical change in the last few.
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