And, in an odd way, the incident with the man who nearly died bolstered my confidence. I discovered that I could enjoy sex without being drunk.I've mentioned before that I keep a diary, and have done so since I was a teenager. By this time – I was 49 -- my diary was longer than War and Peace, filled a stack of spiral notebooks, and occupied a sizeable chunk of space on my hard drive (password protected of course). I kept the full notebooks in a safe deposit box.The diary described the events of my life day to day – and prominent among those events were descriptions of my sexual encounters. I could go back through my diary and find for example that on March 12, 1992, I had fucked a guy named Bill Warner in my tent home in Lokichogio, Kenya. I noted that Bill was married and visiting Kenya with a church group. He missionary-ed me, cummed in about three strokes, and went to sleep afterwards even quicker. Not memorable! But, all the same, I had recorded it.With my passions for numbers. Ah good laughs, watching the heroes and heroines in their dayglow fetish fashion become the naughty porn stars they dressed up like… Those might have been Its favorite trick.But of course, the forces of order would swing in and “Set things right,” restoring “order” and returning the course of events to “The Plan.” And that was boring.Boring…. Utterly, repulsively, disgustingly, malignantly boring.Next to it was a particular reality. The Force looked in as a melodrama played out. The man in the skintight suit with the pointy cowl giving a speech about moral righteousness, the lady in her skintight outfit offering sexual pleasures, they would flirt, they would fight, he would capture her, and she would escape from the police and the dance would continue… riveting, for the first million times you watched it, after that it got stale. The Forces of Order agreed apparently. Occasionally they would write the story so the hero would capture the thief’s heart, she would reform and become his.
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