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He's interested in everything. He seems to have infinite obscure references at his fingertips. I've even heard him quote Betty Friedan. How many men can do that? How does all this information accumulate in one head? How is it so readily accessible for retrieval? He never seems to be stuck for a response.So I asked him. "How do you know all this? What good does it do you?"He laughed. "I know all this because my brain is a repository of totally useless information, and I remember almost everything I read. I can't help it. It's not a talent, it's a curse. What it's good for is to play Jeopardy. I could be a professional Jeopardy player and make a lot of money. I'm waiting for the National Jeopardy League to come into existence. I'll be taken in the first round of the draft. They'll be selling Andrew Adkins NJL bubble gum cards."He builds these little imaginary scenarios that stand on their own but are just so ridiculous. How does he come up with them? I think it's very funny.I asked him. It’s my tolerance of idiots that needs working on.If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.The kids text me “plz” which is shorter than please. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes.”I’m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do the second week.Even duct tape can’t fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.This item is compliments of an Anonymous donor:A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women, an American, a Kiwi and a Australian Woman, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.The American woman said “Have you ever had a hug?”The man said “No,” so she gave him a hug and walked on.The Kiwi woman said, “Have you ever had a kiss?”The man said, “No,” so she gave him a kiss and walked on.The Australian woman came.
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