David just sat there quietly and did nothing. Tell me about the kids. How many are there?" David answered,” Two. Andy who is 17 and Tammy is (16)." #1 looked at David and Linda and said. "I'll make a deal with you. You do exactly as you are told and not give us any shit and your little girl will still be a virgin when we leave. If you don't then we will both rape her and you will watch us do it. Do you understand?" They both looked into his hard eyes and nodded. "Can we put our clothes back on now?" Linda asked. #2 answered "No." and pulled her up out of the couch by her hair. They went to the kids rooms with #2 holding his gun to her back. They came back with the two children dressed in their pajamas. They both looked scared to death. Tammy was holding her mother and crying. Back in the living room the kids were seated in the chairs on either side of the couch. Andy looked a lot like his dad. Even at 14 he was about the same size. Tammy did not look much like either. My next crap could spell disaster.Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring and farting ... so, at least I got home OK.The wife's back on the warpath again.She was up for making a home video last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport."Nationality?" asks the immigration officer."German," she replies."Occupation?"No, just here for a few days."As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside screams:"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters,"Too late, mate, the paperwork's already done."I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough,.
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