I sound like Laurie talking to one of her dolls she hasn't seen for a while. Oh. One more thing. There's going to be a memorial service at the mortuary, then the burial at the cemetery. I know it's on Friday but I can't remember if it's at 4:00 or 4:30. I'm sure you'll be going with Daddy and Laurie."The doorbell rang, then I heard the door open and Charlie yell, "Anybody home?"I called out, "We're in the TV room."He came in with a few pages of note paper in his hand. He pushed them toward me. "Here's your homework."I thanked him, then picked up the "Jill — Pictures" box and put it down on the couch next to me. I opened up the journal box and saw that they all had dates on the binders. I took the two earliest."She left all her journals. She started them a few months after she left Daddy and me. I'm going to check out the first two, then I'll bring them back and get some more. I don't know how Daddy will feel about you looking at them but I'd get permission if I were you. Same thing. I can't get myself to believe that. You can't have it both ways, Jollis. You can't both claim feelings for me and justify what your people did. You had a hand in both of them."Jollis let out a heartfelt sigh."What is it you want from me?" Amanda demanded. "You want me to tell you everything's okay? You want me to tell you not to worry about it? You want me to try and rationalize all this just because you said a few kind words to me? I'm sorry, but that's too much to ask."Amanda's eyes teared. She wiped them in annoyance and fought to keep her voice steady."If you were just a bystander ... i-if this was a case of you just happening to be part of the same people that did all this ... then maybe I could accept it. But that's not it. You had a hand in all of it. Lanno was right. You caused all this. You're the one that d-destroyed my life."Amanda stopped, her throat too tight. She choked back a sob and swiped her cheeks, where several tears had trickled from her eyes.Jollis' heart ached..
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